(5 out of 5 hot dogs)

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Sunburnt Cow
137 Avenue C (at 9th St.)
Time: Sunday Dinner 4pm-Close
Price: $10 Counter Meal, $4 Cocktails

Crikey! You’d let the sexy Australian staff at this cow-printed billabong put their shrimp on your barbie, if you know what I mean… This crimson-pigmented bovine features an unbelievable $10 counter-meal (appetizer, entrée, dessert) every Sunday. Appetizer standards include the fried calamari and the green salad. Entrees are anything from a lamb-burger to barramundi to classic bangers ‘n mash. On top of that, cocktails are only $4, and so delicious that they will make you forget Nicole Kidman’s plastic surgery-gone-wrong.  It’s a cozy and hip hangout for sheilas and sheepshaggers alike.

(2 out of 5 hot dogs)

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Artisanal Bistro
2 Park Avenue (at 32nd St.)
Time: Saturday and Sundays, 10:30 to 4:45
Price: Prix Fixe, $24.50
Accompanying wine, $13.50
Little piece of cheese, A Billion Dollars

At this fancy bistro, I ordered the Prix Fixe, which can be roughly translated from French to mean “pretentious brunch special that doesn’t taste very good.” For hors d’oeurves, I had a basket of gougeres, which is an oily cheese pastry that was almost as satisfying as the $1.99 cheese fries at the Harlem Chicken Palace on my block. For my Plat Principaux I ordered the sautéed skate wing, which was so greasy it skated right through my GI Tract and into the nearest waste receptacle. For dessert I had the baba au rhum, which was a small piece of cake in a puddle of rum. Don’t get me wrong, I like rum as much as the next sex-starved sailor, but it was foul. Maybe they were trying to get me liquored up so that I would think that I actually enjoyed this meal. CELEB ALERT! CELEB ALERT! I was dining with my Puerto Rican friends, and they recognized the Puerto Rican Secretary of State sitting at the table next to us. I would have taken a picture, but I was too nervous/ ill.

(4 out of 5 hot dogs)

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Earth NYC
116A 10th Ave (between 17th and 18th St)
Time: Every day, 12-3
Price: Half-off menu

Question: How special is lunch at Earth NYC? Answer: As special as you want it to be. The lunch menu features half-off of all menu items, so unlike many lunch specials, you can order more or less depending how hungry you feel. You are seated on plush pillows in a large room with absurdly high ceilings, upbeat music and a massive video screen. This modern Indian restaurant could easily turn into a rave at a moment’s notice. ‘Lollipops’ were my appetizer; a scrumptious chicken wing with meat cut off so it looked like a lollipop. I ordered naan bread and my favorite Indian entrée, Zafrani Rogan Josh, a lamb dish that definitely did not disappoint. My bill came to about $20 including tip. It’s definitely not the cheapest special you’ll find here, but great food and ambience for a great value.