(3 out of 5 hot dogs)

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The Back Forty
190 Avenue B (at 12th)
Time: Mondays, 6-11:30
Price: Half of drinks at the bar

The food at this farmer-chic tavern is fresh, healthy and often locally grown. The bartenders are friendly, and make some of the best, creative yet simple, cocktails I’ve had in NYC. I’ve been here a few times, and the menu keeps changing, but some of my favorites include the Penn Shandy (pilsner, gin, ginger and lemon) and the Red & Black (tequila, strawberries, pepper and lime). And with happy hour extending all day Monday, these fancy drinks are only $5, and locally brewed beers are around $3. Also on Mondays, you can get a grass-fed beef slider for $3 (I thought cows were supposed to eat corn. No?). Yes, it’s a little pricier than Burger King, but it’s also free of rats, feces and factory workers’ disembodied limbs. So do your appetite, your body, and the future of food a favor, by stopping by Monday or every day!

(5 out of 5 hot dogs)

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Trader Joe’s and Trader Joe’s Wine Shop
142 E 14th Street (3rd and 4th)
Time: 9am – 10pm
Price: Cheap specialty groceries and cheaper wine

Picture this: Lines out the door and around the corner, crowds of attractive twenty-somethings clamoring to get in, wine served in little plastic cups. The hot new club in West Chelsea? Nope. Trader Joes: the best and cheapest place to get groceries (and wine) in NYC? Yep. I wouldn’t wait in line to get into a bar, or the Abercrombie on Fifth Avenue (gag me), but I will absolutely wait in line at Trader Joe’s. Even when I lived in Spanish Harlem, I would commute 110 blocks to do my shopping there (rather than getting shanked for my metrocard at the Pathmark on 125th). It is half as expensive as Gristedes or Food Emporium, and you can find affordable foods that are organic, gluten-free, vegan, or just plain regular. Exported French Cheese: $4.37, Organic Cage-Free Omega-3 Eggs: $3.99, Extra-Fiber Whole-Wheat Bread: $2.49. Employees give out free samples, and will pick something up for you if you’re already in line and forgot. There are rumors of new locations opening in Chelsea and Upper West Side, which should clear out some of the traffic.  Right next door is the wine shop, where bottles start at $2.99 for two buck chuck and $3.99 for a slightly fancier label. That’s the kind of bottle service I’m talking about!

(2 out of 5 hot dogs)

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For all of you jetsetters on a budget, I bring you the first edition of ITJS Goes Global. I just returned today from a week in the city of angels, eating out two meals a day, and came to the conclusion that NYC trumps LA in most ways, but most definitively in the food department. Whether fruit picker or studio exec, you are doomed to eat crappy food almost wherever you go. I did however find a few specials worth blogging about, and the best part is they’re only a six-hour flight away!

Cabo Cantina
30 Washington Blvd
Venice, CA

I saw the giant margarita sign and the palm-tree decorations, and I knew I was destined to have lunch here. Luckily it was Taco Tuesday, which means unlimited tacos with rice and beans all day for $4.95. But there are similar specials every day of the week, usually pairing greasy Mexican food with tecate and tequila in different combinations. Happy hour is everyday from 4-8, where drinks are 2-for-1. I sat on the rooftop overlooking Venice Beach with old friends, guzzled a skull-sized margarita, listened to hip-hop on the jukebox, and couldn’t ask for more.

El Nuevo Rincon Salvadoreno
3827 W. Sunset Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA

A pupusa is an El Salvadorian bread that does not actually taste like poo-poo, as the title would have you believe. They are round, have the consistency of naan, and are filled with cheese and your choice of beans, pork, zucchini or loroco (an edible flower). They are $2 each, and you need only two or three to fill you up.  You can top them with cabbage and hot-sauce to spice it up. At this pupuseria, I also tried fried plantains, which had a perfect salty/sweet combo, and came in around $4. Although I prefer the more standard quesadillas, I’m happy to add the pupusa to my glorious list of fried bread and cheese dishes.

7-Eleven
4930 W. Pico
Los Angeles, CA

In LA, Bars close at 2am, there’s no public transportation to speak of, and you are more likely to strike gold than you are to catch a cab. Out on a Saturday night, like many Saturday nights, there was nothing I wanted more than a slice of pizza. But since everything was closed, my only option was stopping at the corner 7-Eleven, where you can get two slices for $3. The two slices combined were smaller than one regular slice you can find on the street anywhere in New York. The cardboard box in which they were served was softer and tasted better the pizza itself. In short, going to 7-Elevent for a meal was one of the great mistakes of my life. But next time I’m in LA on Saturday at 2am, I can’t say I won’t do it again.

(3 out of 5 hot dogs)

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The Continental
25 3rd Ave (at St. Marks)
Time: All the time
Price: Five shots, $10

Five shots of anything. And yes, they’re serious. But at what cost? This place is perfect if you’re with four friends on your way to an obligatory LES birthday party, and you want a quick round of Jäger shooters before you spend two hours milking your $18 mojito, waiting for the ice to melt, and then drinking that. This place is perfect if, alcoholic that you are, your idea of a ‘continental breakfast’ is one shot each of vodka, rum, whiskey, gin and tequila. This place is perfect if you have any sort of interest in getting roofied and subsequently gangbanged by white supremacists. But for real, go in and get your shots, and peace out. I made the mistake of overstaying my welcome. After being roughed up by the bouncer, the bartender refused to give me water because her “boss would get mad.” And by mad, I’m assuming he would take her out back and go to town with his cat-of-nine-tails. So celebrate diversity, and check out this is a one-of-a-kind, white-trash gem unlike anything else in Manhattan.

(3 out of 5 hot dogs)

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Yuca
111 Avenue A (at 7th)
Time: Tuesdays 1-8
Price: Half off Tapas ($1.50-5.50ish), various drink specials

If you don’t have a real job, come to Yuca on Tuesday for a late lunch. In the summer, the walls magically open up giving you a beautiful view of the other unemployed New Yorkers tripping balls in Tompkins Square Park. If you do have a job, come afterwards for a happy hour fiesta so caliente that you’ll want to get up and flamenco (See: Right). I ordered the Spanish Bruschetta from the Lunch Tapas menu, which was muy sabrosa and only $1.50! I splurged and got the quesadillas de langosta (Lobster Kay-suh-dil-uhs) for $5.50, which taste as exceptional as they sound, and were dolloped with guacamole delicioso. My lunching companion ordered the guacasalsa (chips with guacamole and pico de gallo) for $4. And we split a half-pitcher (four glasses) of white sangria for $15, filled with fresh fruit, and spiked enough to get a good mid-day buzz going. The waitress was as sweet as the sangria she served, and brought us even more drinks on the house (Did she recognize me from this world-famous blog? I’m pretty sure…) All in all I spent less than $20 including tip, and my stomach, liver and wallet all gave me a big ‘gracias.’

(4 out of 5 hot dogs)

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2 Bros Pizza
32 St. Marks Place (2nd and 3rd Ave.)
601 6th Avenue (17th and 18th)
592 9th Avenue (at 40th)
Time: All the time
Price: $1 for a slice of cheese pizza, $2.75 for two slices and a pop

One dollar, one slice? Say whaaaaaat? While there is nothing gourmet or unique about this pizza, it has all the essential components (dough, sauce, cheese, grease.) Fresh pizzas fly out of the oven faster then you can say ‘WhatcanIgetforadollar.’ The line is long, but it moves quickly, so there’s no time for the pies to dry out under the heat-lamps and become infected with air-born pathogens. Take it to go, or have a seat and mingle with the homeless (no offense to my homeless readers), but whichever way you look at it, this is the best bang for your buck. I give major props to the owners for opening a location kitty-corner to their biggest competitor ‘99 Cents Fresh Pizza’ on 41st, who recently added the tagline “1.07 including tax.” I’d rather pay $2, and slough the .93 for convenience. You make me sick, ‘99 Cents Fresh Pizza,’ we’re through! Don’t even bother texting me, you cheap false advertising pizza hoe!