Sin-wiches and Condom-ents
Wednesday, October 14th, 2009
(3 out of 5 hot dogs)
Loading ...Sometimes the best way to save money is to cook at your apartment. And if it’s a date then you’re already a few steps closer to basting your turkey than you would be out at a restaurant, if you know what I mean. That’s the philosophy of ‘Cook to Bang.’ With hilarious recipe names such as “Don’t artichoke your chicken” and “Tap that ass-paragus soup,” and a clever lay-out, this blog is bookmark-worthy. I have yet to try any of the food, but it certainly has aroused my curiosity, and other things.
Mim warned me that the crowd at this French bistro was ‘vintage,’ which was true, but it’s also true that seniors love their bargains. And this prix fixe is a pretty good secret kept from the young folk. Mim also warned me that early bird dinners are frequented by ‘owls,’ (apparently the male counterpart to the ‘cougar’) who swoop down on their unassuming prey. So we both kept an eye out, and put up the necessary defenses. I started with the mesclun salad, while Mim started with the vegetable soup, both of which we decided were far too healthy, so we requested extra butter to make up for it. For our entrees, we both had the brook trout almondine, which was expertly sautéed atop a bed of carrots and broccoli. We finished the meal with a dab of ice cream. It was a charming dinner, and we even managed to steer clear of incoming owl pellets.
The name of this restaurant sounds more like somewhere you’d walk your dog, or the title of a DVD that you would stash under the loose panel in your bedroom. But, in fact, is another all-you-can-drink brunch destination. Our meal began with a basket of freshly-baked mini-muffins. Mmm. The sign out front said ‘Brunch with unlimited drinks $13.95.’ Only partially accurate. The drinks had a 60-minute limit, which is lame, because everyone knows that the best brunches last three to four hours. (The waiter was nice though, and didn’t mind that we overstayed our welcome by a few hours.) Also, most of the entrée options on the menu said ‘plus two dollars’ or ‘plus three dollars’ next to the listing, making them NOT $13.95. So I had one of the three actual $13.95 plates, and my recent breakfast favorite, the huevos rancheros. It tasted fine, but the egg was a little rubbery, and in perfectly round patty form (a la Egg McMuffin), which made me question it’s integrity. The time limit, the higher price, and the below average food knock this down to a three hot-dog rating, but the frozen margaritas bring it back up to four. They are a perfect brunch drink that you seldom see on the menu. And who doesn’t love tequila in the morning? Not me!
Almost a year ago, Plaxico Burress, the Giants receiver, shot himself at Latin Quarters. At some points during my evening here, I wanted to do the same. $10 doesn’t seem bad for dancing and dinner, but it turned out to be a money pit. $3 Mandatory coat/bag-check, $40 minimum for cards at the bar, $8 small plastic cup of watery drink ($5 coke) until 8 O’clock, and then $12. The buffet was just rice, beans, lettuce, tomatoes and rolls, which was fine, but I was expecting a little more. I cowered in a booth with my four female dance-partners, while old men slowly walked by leering. Thankfully, the salsa lessons started at 8:30 in the VIP Lounge, where an instructor taught us to kick-ball-change for thirty minutes. Then he turned down the lights, turned up the music, and we got to get our latin-groove on in private. AYAYAY! The night was definitely a change of pace, so if you are curious to add a little spice to your hump-day, check it out, but be sure to line your pockets with cash beforehand.