Sucker Drunch
Friday, April 9th, 2010
(3 out of 5 hot dogs)
Loading ...Sixth Ward
191 Orchard (Houston and Stanton)
Time: Saturday and Sunday, 11-4
Price: 14.95 entrée and unlimited mimosas
Spring is here! And with it come flip-flops, a freakshow aka the Easter Parade (nothing like the Judy Garland movie/ rather tourists taking pictures of homeless people dressed up as bunnies), and drunches! So on the first nice weekend of the year, I headed down to the Sixth Ward for a boozie brunch to enjoy the weather in their outdoor garden. In Manhattan, anything outdoor constitutes a garden, but this was definitely more alley than garden, with only a slightly less chance of being assaulted. I ordered an omelet with mushrooms and cheese that came with a meager portion of home fries. The mimosas were nothing to write home about, but since this is my blog, I’ll write all about it! I had an exclusive interview with the house mixologist, and was able to get the (previously unreleased) recipe, which I will share with you!
6th Ward Secret Mimosa Recipe*
1 gallon orange juice
1 bottle cheap champagne
1.5-2 gallons dishwater
*Mix at least 2 days in advance, and let it sit out so champagne has sufficient time to flatten.
And with that, my quest for the best NYC drunch plows onward. So, this weekend, when you are drinking as many watered-down mimosas as possible before your server cuts you off, look up at the sun, and know that I am looking up at that same sun, drinking the same mimosa, and thinking of you
Spaghetti and sangria: two things that don’t really go together, like a 
Crikey! I’ve already blogged about the wonders of Sunburnt Cow’s Sunday counter meal, but yesterday I took a trip down under for the first time to their weekend brunch. You get a main course off a menu of brunch standards, including omelettes, bush benedict, hamburger, buttermilk banana pancakes, etc. And you get unlimited Moomosas and MooMarys (those are mimosas and bloody marys, if you aren’t that punny), Fosters beer, screwdrivers and greyhounds (grapefruit juice and vodka). They also brought us free shots at the end of our meal along with our bill. Because it was crowded/popular, they asked us for the table after about an hour and a half, but we were welcome to stay and continue to drink for free at the bar (See: Above)
Appeasing my current fondness for French Cuisine, I had brunch at Le Bateau Ivre (meaning ‘The Drunk Boat’ in French). And a fitting name for a brunch spot, with everyone packed together in one room, recovering from the night before, alcohol sloshing in their bellies below. I sampled the French toast (or is it just known as ‘toast’ in French restaurants?) which came with a fruit salad, a cup of tea, and a tart bellini. This is clearly a departure from the glorious all-you-can-chug brunch spots, as you only get one spiked beverage with the meal (and the price is on the steep side). However, it wasn’t the food or the drink (although tasty) that brought me here; a jazz trio the plays live music from 11-4 that is the real draw. With open air from the midtown streets, and catchy tunes thumping away, this is the perfect place to hit up if your parents are in town, or if you’re trying to impress someone, or you’re working the evening shift and cannot get too too plastered before work.
The name of this restaurant sounds more like somewhere you’d walk your dog, or the title of a DVD that you would stash under the loose panel in your bedroom. But, in fact, is another all-you-can-drink brunch destination. Our meal began with a basket of freshly-baked mini-muffins. Mmm. The sign out front said ‘Brunch with unlimited drinks $13.95.’ Only partially accurate. The drinks had a 60-minute limit, which is lame, because everyone knows that the best brunches last three to four hours. (The waiter was nice though, and didn’t mind that we overstayed our welcome by a few hours.) Also, most of the entrée options on the menu said ‘plus two dollars’ or ‘plus three dollars’ next to the listing, making them NOT $13.95. So I had one of the three actual $13.95 plates, and my recent breakfast favorite, the huevos rancheros. It tasted fine, but the egg was a little rubbery, and in perfectly round patty form (a la Egg McMuffin), which made me question it’s integrity. The time limit, the higher price, and the below average food knock this down to a three hot-dog rating, but the frozen margaritas bring it back up to four. They are a perfect brunch drink that you seldom see on the menu. And who doesn’t love tequila in the morning? Not me!
Crikey! You’d let the sexy Australian staff at this cow-printed billabong put their shrimp on your barbie, if you know what I mean… This crimson-pigmented bovine features an unbelievable $10 counter-meal (appetizer, entrée, dessert) every Sunday. Appetizer standards include the fried calamari and the green salad. Entrees are anything from a lamb-burger to barramundi to classic bangers ‘n mash. On top of that, cocktails are only $4, and so delicious that they will make you forget Nicole Kidman’s plastic surgery-gone-wrong. It’s a cozy and hip hangout for sheilas and sheepshaggers alike.
At this fancy bistro, I ordered the Prix Fixe, which can be roughly translated from French to mean “pretentious brunch special that doesn’t taste very good.” For hors d’oeurves, I had a basket of gougeres, which is an oily cheese pastry that was almost as satisfying as the $1.99 cheese fries at the Harlem Chicken Palace on my block. For my Plat Principaux I ordered the sautéed skate wing, which was so greasy it skated right through my GI Tract and into the nearest waste receptacle. For dessert I had the baba au rhum, which was a small piece of cake in a puddle of rum. Don’t get me wrong, I like rum as much as the next sex-starved sailor, but it was foul. Maybe they were trying to get me liquored up so that I would think that I actually enjoyed this meal. CELEB ALERT! CELEB ALERT! I was dining with my Puerto Rican friends, and they recognized the Puerto Rican Secretary of State sitting at the table next to us. I would have taken a picture, but I was too nervous/ ill.