Percents and Sensibility
Friday, April 2nd, 2010
(3 out of 5 hot dogs)
Loading ...Sushi Lounge
132 St Marks (at A)
Time: Forever and ever
Price: 50% off sushi
At Sushi Lounge they have 50% off sushi all the time. Not just happy hour, and not just at lunch, but ALL THE TIME. That means, their menu prices are just double the actual price that they charge. Hmmm. That’s about as logical as ordering a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Hold the peanut butter. And Jelly. And Bread. Or advertising free air. To be fair though, their prices are really cheap. Half off a $4 tuna roll is $2, and half off an $8.25 shrimp tempura roll is $4.12½ (you can pay the half-cent in yen.) But I guess saying 50% off is a better marketing technique than saying DIRT CHEAP sushi. So ridiculously cheap that you should be concerned. With all these thoughts running through my head, I avoided the half-off-fish, and went with a vegetarian lunch special to-go ($7.95 available until 4pm), that included veggie tempura, rice, some gross seaweed stuff, a cucumber-avocado roll, miso soup and a salad served in coffee cups. It was a gorgeous day outside, and I ate my lunch in Tompkins Square Park with the cracked-out bums, drank miso out of a cup, and contemplated what 50% of 50% of 50% of 50% was.
To appease my recent craving for Thai food, I stopped by Rhong Tiam (formerly Curve), which happens to be two doors down from another great Thai 
At the stroke of midnight, Cinderella’s carriage turned back into a pumpkin. This is kind of like that, except your dollar bill turns into a delicious falafel sandwich, and it can happen any time your heart desires. For your buck, you get two good-sized falafel inside a half pita with lettuce, tomatoes, onions and sauce. It’s a deal right out of a fairy tale, and a slightly healthier alternative to Two Bros $1 pizza around the corner. They also have a full menu of under $5 Middle Eastern goodies, such as baklava, spinach pie and baba ghanouj. So wipe that soot off your apron, and head on down, you might even meet your Prince Charming. Or falafel sandwich the size of a football. Take your pick.
Crikey! I’ve already blogged about the wonders of Sunburnt Cow’s Sunday counter meal, but yesterday I took a trip down under for the first time to their weekend brunch. You get a main course off a menu of brunch standards, including omelettes, bush benedict, hamburger, buttermilk banana pancakes, etc. And you get unlimited Moomosas and MooMarys (those are mimosas and bloody marys, if you aren’t that punny), Fosters beer, screwdrivers and greyhounds (grapefruit juice and vodka). They also brought us free shots at the end of our meal along with our bill. Because it was crowded/popular, they asked us for the table after about an hour and a half, but we were welcome to stay and continue to drink for free at the bar (See: Above)
After the previous post, it seemed like an appropriate title. But yet again, we are just talking about food (food that just happens to not be heated above 118 degrees Fahrenheit to keep the enzymes intact.) Raw meals, contrary to logic, usually cost upwards of $30, so this is a pretty good deal if you want to experiment with the raw lifestyle. I tried the spinach onion ravioli with pasta. In this case the ravioli shell was made of paper-thin turnip skin and the pasta of shaved squash. It tasted good at first, but you can only eat so much. Since the food here is filled with fiber, and often nut-based, a small plate will surprisingly fill you up. The best part of lunch was my drink, the fresh-squeezed apple cider, it was spicy and thick and clear. To be honest, I felt a little ill for a few hours after I ate, but perhaps was just my body adjusting to eating real food after twenty-four years of high fructose corn syrup and bleached enriched white flour.
The food at this farmer-chic tavern is fresh, healthy and often locally grown. The bartenders are friendly, and make some of the best, creative yet simple, cocktails I’ve had in NYC. I’ve been here a few times, and the menu keeps changing, but some of my favorites include the Penn Shandy (pilsner, gin, ginger and lemon) and the Red & Black (tequila, strawberries, pepper and lime). And with happy hour extending all day Monday, these fancy drinks are only $5, and locally brewed beers are around $3. Also on Mondays, you can get a grass-fed beef slider for $3 (I thought cows were supposed to eat corn. No?). Yes, it’s a little pricier than Burger King, but it’s also free of rats, feces and factory workers’ disembodied limbs. So do your appetite, your body, and the future of food a favor, by stopping by Monday or every day!
Picture this: Lines out the door and around the corner, crowds of attractive twenty-somethings clamoring to get in, wine served in little plastic cups. The hot new club in West Chelsea? Nope. Trader Joes: the best and cheapest place to get groceries (and wine) in NYC? Yep. I wouldn’t wait in line to get into a bar, or the Abercrombie on Fifth Avenue (gag me), but I will absolutely wait in line at Trader Joe’s. Even when I lived in Spanish Harlem, I would commute 110 blocks to do my shopping there (rather than getting shanked for my metrocard at the Pathmark on 125th). It is half as expensive as Gristedes or Food Emporium, and you can find affordable foods that are organic, gluten-free, vegan, or just plain regular. Exported French Cheese: $4.37, Organic Cage-Free Omega-3 Eggs: $3.99, Extra-Fiber Whole-Wheat Bread: $2.49. Employees give out free samples, and will pick something up for you if you’re already in line and forgot. There are rumors of new locations opening in Chelsea and Upper West Side, which should clear out some of the traffic. Right next door is the wine shop, where bottles start at $2.99 for two buck chuck and $3.99 for a slightly fancier label. That’s the kind of bottle service I’m talking about!
Five shots of anything. And yes, they’re serious. But at what cost? This place is perfect if you’re with four friends on your way to an obligatory LES birthday party, and you want a quick round of Jäger shooters before you spend two hours milking your $18 mojito, waiting for the ice to melt, and then drinking that. This place is perfect if, alcoholic that you are, your idea of a ‘continental breakfast’ is one shot each of vodka, rum, whiskey, gin and tequila. This place is perfect if you have any sort of interest in getting roofied and subsequently gangbanged by white supremacists. But for real, go in and get your shots, and peace out. I made the mistake of overstaying my welcome. After being roughed up by the bouncer, the bartender refused to give me water because her “boss would get mad.” And by mad, I’m assuming he would take her out back and go to town with his cat-of-nine-tails. So celebrate diversity, and check out this is a one-of-a-kind, white-trash gem unlike anything else in Manhattan.
If you don’t have a real job, come to Yuca on Tuesday for a late lunch. In the summer, the walls magically open up giving you a beautiful view of the other unemployed New Yorkers tripping balls in Tompkins Square Park. If you do have a job, come afterwards for a happy hour fiesta so caliente that you’ll want to get up and flamenco (See: Right). I ordered the Spanish Bruschetta from the Lunch Tapas menu, which was muy sabrosa and only $1.50! I splurged and got the quesadillas de langosta (Lobster Kay-suh-dil-uhs) for $5.50, which taste as exceptional as they sound, and were dolloped with guacamole delicioso. My lunching companion ordered the guacasalsa (chips with guacamole and pico de gallo) for $4. And we split a half-pitcher (four glasses) of white sangria for $15, filled with fresh fruit, and spiked enough to get a good mid-day buzz going. The waitress was as sweet as the sangria she served, and brought us even more drinks on the house (Did she recognize me from this world-famous blog? I’m pretty sure…) All in all I spent less than $20 including tip, and my stomach, liver and wallet all gave me a big ‘gracias.’
One dollar, one slice? Say whaaaaaat? While there is nothing gourmet or unique about this pizza, it has all the essential components (dough, sauce, cheese, grease.) Fresh pizzas fly out of the oven faster then you can say ‘WhatcanIgetforadollar.’ The line is long, but it moves quickly, so there’s no time for the pies to dry out under the heat-lamps and become infected with air-born pathogens. Take it to go, or have a seat and mingle with the homeless (no offense to my homeless readers), but whichever way you look at it, this is the best bang for your buck. I give major props to the owners for opening a location kitty-corner to their biggest competitor ‘99 Cents Fresh Pizza’ on 41st, who recently added the tagline “1.07 including tax.” I’d rather pay $2, and slough the .93 for convenience. You make me sick, ‘99 Cents Fresh Pizza,’ we’re through! Don’t even bother texting me, you cheap false advertising pizza hoe!