(2 out of 5 hot dogs)

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Kebab Factory
101 Lexington (Between 27th and 28th Street)
Time: Everyday 12:00PM- 3:00PM
Price: $7.95

For a factory, maybe they should take a little tip from Henry T. Ford, and set up some assembly line action, because the service here is extremely slow. On the sign outside, Kebab Factory advertises a lunch special of unlimited kebab and curry for $6.95. But the reality is, if you want chicken you have to pay a dollar more. Misleading advertising: something that really grinds my gears. The chicken is tiny (maybe 1/3 the meat you’d expect on a kebab), but it is spicy and pretty tasty. The naan is standard, and served with four pretty good dipping sauces, my favorite had chick peas in it. Unfortunately, the service is horrendous. I continually asked for more naan and kebab, and they were extremely slow. They never offered to refill my water (rusty tasting tap water even, another thing that grinds the ol’ gears), and the server would disappear for ten minutes at a time. I finally had to go refill it myself from the server’s station. That being said, if you are really hungry for unlimited Indian food, and could are more patient than I am, don’t mind eating in a Murray Hill basement, and you bring your own bottle of water, this isn’t a bad place.

(2 out of 5 hot dogs)

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Kiku/ Kikku
50 W 55th St (Between 5th and 6th Ave)
Time: Weekday 11:00 AM- 3:30 PM
Price: Two rolls with soup and salad, $8.50
Lunch Box Special, $11.50

The most off-putting part of this lunch special is that the name of the restaurant is spelled differently on the menu and on the awning. Which is it, Kiku or Kikku?? If they can’t tell the difference between spellings, can they tell the difference between fresh salmon and three week old salmon? If I paid with a single, would they think it’s a ten and give me change? This sushi restaurant is bizarrely located on the second floor of what appears to be an apartment building, so you have to uncomfortably walk in the door and go up a common stairwell to get there. I almost turned around when I got to the top of the stairs, and saw hoards of Asian children running about. But for the sake (if not saké) of this blog, I decided to tough it out. The fish at the sushi counter looked almost fresh, and it ended up being eatable (it was no “Ogawa”.) The house salad was extra-white ice burg lettuce with a paper thin, half slice of tomato on top. I decided to get my meal take out and eat in the park, which is a few blocks away, which was pleasant. But I won’t be returning any time soon, or at least until they get their spelling straight.

(5 out of 5 hot dogs)

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Milon (up and to the left)
93 First Avenue (between 5th and 6th street)
Time: Every day 12:00 PM – 4:00 PM
Price: Your dreams come true, $5.95

This is one of four almost identical restaurants all located at the same address, each with hosts trying to convince to come to theirs. If you go any night of the week, this building is a crowded bring-your-own-liquor hullabaloo. Each has a cluster-fudge of decorations including crazy hot pepper Christmas lights, Sponge Bob ornaments and giant lizards. At each, there is cheap and tasty cuisine. At each restaurant, a server might randomly turn off the lights, turn on a disco ball and sing you a happy birthday song and bring you mango ice cream. What makes Milon different? It is upstairs and to the left, and that makes all the difference. Although is this a fun and raucous evening affair, if you are looking for something more quiet, come for the incomparable lunch special. It comes with papadum and dipping sauces, naan, rice, soup, cabbage, an appetizer (samosa or vegetable dumpling), and your choice of entrée (chicken, lamb, beef and vegetable with curry masala, kurma masala or tandoori sauces.) And on top of that, they give you a dollop of their signature mango ice cream for desert. AND all of that for $5.95. Although you definitely need to experience Milon at night, come by and take advantage of this unbeatable lunch special.

(5 out of 5 hot dogs)

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Thailand Café
95 2nd Ave, (Below 6th St.)
Time: Everyday Noon- 3:30
Price: Vegetable or Tofu, $6.00
Chicken, Beef or Pork, $7.00
Shrimp, Vegetarian Duck, $8.00

The Thailand Café is a cute, cheap and delicious must-lunch locale. The lunch special comes with unlimited hot tea, and appetizer and entrée of your choice. I have tried all most everything on the menu, and they are all great. Appetizers include amazing Thai wings, fried tofu, salad, and others. Entrees include a long list of curries, pad Thai and other Thai classics, all satisfying. My favorite is the massamun, a milky and spicy coconut curry. A matron-type (pictured to the side), who I take to be the owner, oversees the restaurant like a hawk, and always appears seconds away performing some form of painful and/or sexually-humiliating Thai torture on the customers in the back room if they are not enjoying the meal (luckily not a problem.)

(1 out of 5 hot dogs)

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Ogawa Café
36 E 4th St. (Between Bowery and Lafayette)
Time: Everyday, 11:30 am- 3:30 pm
Price: Two sushi rolls, $7.25
Three sushi rolls, $9.75
Lunch Box Special, $8.60

My first time, (Yes, I went more then once) I had intended for the usual sushi lunch special. However, the description and the sheer magnitude of the ‘lunch box special” was so impressive, that I had no other choice to order it. It comes with a soup, salad, rice, 3 fried shumai, four pieces of California roll and an entrée of your choice. What they don’t tell you is that is inedible in every possible way. And when I say inedible, I mean that I actually could not eat it. For my entrée, I decided to be gutsy, and go with the Tofu Teriyaki. What they served was a moist lukewarm chunk of tofu covering in this layer of gummy “teriyaki.” I would not call myself fluent with chopsticks, but I am at least conversational. And I kept attempting to pick up parts of the tofu, and it would fall and slip from my grasp. Even when I switched to the fork, I was unable to get it on the fork and into my mouth. I finally used my hands, and I shouldn’t have even bothered, it was so heinous. The other components were equally below average and unappetizing. A month later, I was in the neighborhood, and decided to give Ogawa a second chance, and this time just stick with the sushi lunch. Three sushi rolls for $9.75. I ordered salmon avocado, philly and yellowtail rolls. The salmon and avocado was warm and mushy. The philly roll was dominated by dollar-store cream cheese that had been sitting in the freezer for years. The yellowtail was too fishy, and I imagined myself slowly getting food poisoning as I ate the meal, and dreaded becoming a human party favor (stuff coming out of both ends). The cherry on the top of the afternoon, actually both times, I got the bill, the sales tax seemed to be over three times what it should be, and the server conveniently didn’t speak English when I asked them about it. Fortunately, I did not spend that evening on the toilet, but I would never go back for a strike three, or recommend that you do so, unless it’s an April Fool’s prank or you need the ideal location to break up with your girlfriend.

(5 out of 5 hot dogs)

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ARRIBA ARRIBA
1463 3rd Ave (82nd and 83rd)
Time: Noon- 4:00 pm
Price: $7.25

Apart from being the signature exclamation of Speedy Gozalez, Arriba Arriba is a pretty great Mexican restaurant on the Upper East Side. So far, on my quest for lunch specials, this represents the ultimate deal, a perfect five hotdog rating, and the bar to which all other lunch specials will be judged. The meal starts off with bottomless chips and salsa. The chips, just salty and greasy enough. To accompany the meal, you get a complimentary frozen margarita or sangria. Both of which are delicious, and though served in a small glass, sufficient to get a good mid-day buzz going. For those of you New Yorkers who are not alcoholics (See: Losers), you could get a coffee or tea instead. There is a long list of delicious entrees for $7.25, including all the Mexican standards: burrito, enchilada, chimichanga, taco, etc. All of which are delicious and served with rice and beans. I’d suggest spending two more dollars on the Grilled Steak California burrito, it is almost the size of a football and has an attractive presentation. Arriba Arriba also a Hell’s Kitchen Location on 51st and 9th Ave, that I have not tried, and I think the prices and menu might be slightly different.

(3 out of 5 hot dogs)

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Lili’s Noodle House
1500 3rd Ave (84th and 85th)
Time: Weekday 11:30 AM- 4:00 PM
Price: Two Sushi Rolls with soup or salad, $8.50
Various Noodle/ Rice bowls with soup or salad, $7.95

Lili’s Noodle House is a place near and dear to me, my very first NYC lunch special experience. One might say that I lost my lunch special virginity here. As my spectrum has broadened and I have become worldlier in my lunch special knowledge, I have become disenchanted with Lili’s. However, they do offer pretty good food at pretty good price. The lunch special comes with either a soup or salad. The miso and wonton soups are great. I tried the egg-drop soup and thought it was pretty awful, tastes like sweetened, water-down scrambled eggs. But apparently, that is what egg-drop soup is supposed to taste like… (Confused why anyone would eat that) The sushi is legit. My favorite is the eel avocado, which has a really nice sauce.